»` τweeτìíes .

2012-02-10T18:14:00.001-08:00

2012-02-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

Am I better off dead? Or am I better off a quitter.
.. I wanted words but all I heard was nothing.

I wish I hadn't asked

2012-02-04T01:15:00.000-08:00

2012-02-01T00:24:00.000-08:00

I'm not a perfect lover.

I say what's on my mind, I start fights and I get jealous. Sometimes, I don't want to understand things so I can avoid pain. I'm demanding. I'm childish. I'm moody. Though there are three things about myself that I can guarantee - I'm faithful, trustworthy and I won't give up so easily. Because, when I chose him, it was only him.

2012-01-31T06:29:00.000-08:00

#1. Own an infinity ring.

2012-01-30T09:41:00.000-08:00

Are we a little too young, immature and naive to be deciding our futures at this age?

Does it hurt to talk about our hopes and dreams?

Is it so wrong to want to live life in the moment and be happy with what we have now?

Be happy. Love yourself - your insecurities and flaws, whatever they may be. You're beautiful.

2012-01-25T16:59:00.000-08:00

2012-01-16T02:47:00.001-08:00

Feels like you don't have time for me anymore.

2012-01-15T17:25:00.001-08:00

It's going to be different this time around. No more playing games.

I can promise you that much.

2012-01-13T22:57:00.001-08:00

There comes a time when you constantly think to yourself .. "I could have done that differently". Yet you do nothing to change that fact or improve it. This could either break or make your future and yet you choose to waste your time on the internet, trying to avoid the problem rather than face and overcome it. Get your act together; you're not going to have someone to lean on every time you make mistakes. Accept the consequences and try harder. It's possible.

2012-01-08T02:20:00.000-08:00

I sorta needed you to be around tonight.

I guess it can't be helped.

In reality, you can't really have everything your way now can you?

Life will disappoint you. Don't get your hopes up.

2012-01-06T03:34:00.000-08:00

I wonder if I've met the person I'm going to marry.

♥

2012-01-06T03:31:00.000-08:00

The most important thing in life ..

2012-01-06T03:18:00.000-08:00

is to stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will". Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.

2012-01-05T16:51:00.000-08:00

"I don't want you to have any insecurities when you're with me" he said.

2011-12-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

I would love to fall asleep beside you every night and wake up to you every morning.

Everyone has flaws, but you're willing to work through and accept mine.

For that, I am so very lucky.

I'm happy.

2011-12-27T09:08:00.000-08:00

My heart hurts. Like someone's clenching it, squeezing the life out of it, using it as a stress ball. But noone's to blame but myself. Too naive, too oblivious and too hypocritical.

2011-12-25T20:22:00.000-08:00

It's times like these when I don't know what to say, how to act or what you're even doing here with me right now. I don't know if I make you happy.

2011-12-19T19:58:00.001-08:00

It seems like the only one who doesn't see the beauty is the face in the mirror staring back at you.

2011-12-19T19:46:00.001-08:00

I don't think it's totally pathetic to rely on a pet for comfort.

I was in a bad mood and yelled at Butters for whining.

Seeing that I was upset, he slowly climbed into my lap and fell asleep as I sat at the computer blogging. He never sits still willingly but he does when I'm sick or upset. Without fail, he'll be excited every time he sees me.

The only boy I've relied on for the last two and a half years.

2011-12-18T04:53:00.000-08:00

Fat and flat in all the wrong places.

It's not like I don't try.

Words poke at your insecurities.

They hurt; a little more than they should.

The truth is sometimes a little too brutal for those that are too weak to hear it.

2011-12-12T16:55:00.000-08:00

I miss my best friend.

I miss seeing her almost every day, going on random sugar highs and making complete and utter fools of ourselves in public. I miss our synced cycles and crying hopelessly over sappy romantic movies and dramas. I miss calling her on the days that we don't see each other, for hours on end, talking about every little moment that we've missed out on sharing with one another. I miss waking up in the middle of the night craving spicy noodles and cooking them together over the stove while talking about insane situations and what we would do to resolve them. I miss her company; and I'm scared that we will drift with all the obstacles that life throws at us.

2011-12-12T01:08:00.001-08:00

2011-12-12T00:27:00.000-08:00

Your curiosity will tear us apart.

2011-12-06T04:03:00.000-08:00

I just want to be left alone. Let these emotions consume my entire being. Sob uncontrollably and fall asleep on a wet pillow. Sometimes you're not good enough.

2011-12-05T03:32:00.000-08:00

I was silly. I should have thought. There is no optimism here.

If it didn't matter, you wouldn't be thinking about it.

2011-11-20T17:31:00.001-08:00

2011-11-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

Can anyone really say that they're completely happy with their life?

People claim that they would take a bullet for you but thinking about it now, would they really?

Some ask how you are but it doesn't necessarily mean that they care.

Society's fucked up. So are their expectations.

2011-11-20T17:15:00.000-08:00

2011-11-15T07:03:00.000-08:00

I didn't think I'd end up here again.

Arguments and crying myself to sleep.

You put up a wall for a reason.

2011-11-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

You're a little bitching shit stirrer.

Not everyone's out to get you and not everything revolves around you. You meet people, you become close to people, you lose people. Honey, that's life. Don't go accusing people of your failed expectations just because things are going well for them and they aren't for you.

Despite the things that I heard about you, I was still friendly and didn't judge. But I should have known that you were nothing but two-faced. Young, naive and immature but that doesn't give anyone the right to act out and say horrible things about a person. I hope that for your sake and everyone who knows you, that you grow up. No one likes an adult who acts like a kid.

Honestly, move the fuck on with your life. Stop dwelling.

2011-10-31T19:18:00.000-07:00

What am I doing here ...

I feel like I'm not enough for you

2011-10-30T06:16:00.001-07:00

2011-10-29T15:51:00.000-07:00

I should have probably learnt my lesson a long time ago - when procrastination never solved anything but nope, I'm still doing it and I'm suffering. So instead of completing my assignment, I've chosen to blog - sook and whinge about how I should stop procrastinating ... yet I'm procrastinating being here right now. Now come the cramps, stomach aches and constant fear or being kicked out of university. When will I learn ..

I wasn't cut out for this.

2011-10-29T07:01:00.001-07:00

2011-10-25T04:46:00.001-07:00

Nobody knows me, I'm cold. Walk down this road all alone.

It's noone's fault but my own, it's the path I've chosen to go.

Frozen as snow, I show no emotion what so ever.

So don't ask me why I have no love for these mo'fuckin' hoes.

2011-10-22T15:41:00.001-07:00

I have a condition known as "hyperhidrosis". It's where excessive sweating occurs mainly in the hands, feet and sometimes underams. Though, I have the worse strand where my hands, feet, underarms, face, back and chest area sweat. Having put up with this for almost ten years now, regardless of the side effects, I have decided to have the surgery. I had two consultations with surgeons in Southport and have now yet to confirm a date for end of November to have an operation to cut the sweat glands that control the sweating in my hands. Surgery involves deflating my lung, locating the nerve that run along the chest wall and then blasting them with sound waves to break them then re-inflating the lung. They'll operate on one side first and if I'm happy with the result and no compensatory sweating occurs, I'll have the other side operated on. Although they said that after the operation, I'll be so sore that I should take a week off from work/driving etc. so I won't be seeing people since I'll be all drugged up :3 ahorhor.

Anyway, just updating those who read this because they know me personally. You should know who you are - I know you check back to see how I am :)

I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours ..

2011-10-20T17:14:00.001-07:00

2011-10-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

Don't you love getting ready and then plans cancel on you?

So then you're left sitting at home with makeup on and your hair done for no particular reason.

Lovely lovely lovely.

It's raining. It's cuddle weather. And guess who's all alone snuggling with her dog?

You guessed it. Welcome to the good life ♪

2011-10-18T13:48:00.001-07:00

It's that uneasy feeling that gets me every time.

The what ifs, whys and whats.

And then I just feel like being alone.

Because being alone is so much easier than pleasing and living up to the expectations of everyone else.

That feeling - gets me every time.

2011-10-17T21:07:00.001-07:00

Don't depend on me; I'm too weak to be your cure.

2011-10-05T05:57:00.000-07:00

I'm so hopeless when I'm sick. I'm drained, I don't want to talk to anyone and it hurts to walk down and up the stairs to get more water. My coughs have deepened and come from the chest and with each sneeze and cough, follow the ache that stretches over my abdomen and chest cavity. My eyes water to the point where I can't focus on the road and so driving becomes difficult and unsafe - my eyes now look like puffer fishes, from hours of crying one self to sleep. I've gone through one and a half boxes of tissues and I've lost count of how many panadol's. I have a big assignment due on Friday, and I can't bring myself to write anything without drifting in and out of sleep. I throw up twice a night and I avoid picking up my phone because it hurts to talk. Coldish air causes those deep, chesty coughs and warm air leads to fevers. It's been five days and I need to get better. I haven't been this sick in a long time :(

I don't know whether I have a great immune system or not. I don't get sick often but when I do, I'm bed ridden for a week and it's so disgusting that I hope noone else gets this way. I want my energy back because right now, I feel so lifeless. IT'S A JUST A REALLY REALLY BAD COLD FOR EFF SAKES. WHY IS MY BODY TAKING IT SO HARD?! OMGGGGG STOPPPP.

2011-10-04T18:54:00.001-07:00

We fight because we care too much to let our insecurities stop us from being together.

2011-10-03T16:33:00.001-07:00

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."

2011-09-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

That feeling you get when you're surrounded by a crowd of people but still feeling so alone.

When you can name a handful of friends that you consider close but struggle to list those who'd say the same of you.

That lingering thought that upsets you but not quite knowing what it is about it that's triggering your tears.

Pushing away those that're trying to show they care and ending up pushing them to their limits.

Not knowing where you're headed.

The feeling of wanting to be wanted.

Not looking, not wanting.

2011-09-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Why do people expect so much? I'm just one person. If you want me to be honest, all you have to do is ask. It's so hard to get your point across without sounding like a complete and utter bitch. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone so there are no expectations of me. No expectations = no disappointment.

2011-09-06T05:14:00.001-07:00

You can't call me your best friend then ignore me for weeks on end after one five minute phone call. Friendship doesn't work like that, 'buddy'. I call you and I normally don't receive a reply till days later and even then, it's no longer relevant. I message you and I get no reply. You know, I'm not some back-up friend that you have when people aren't there for you. I'm not just some girl that you can use and abuse, and take for granted. I won't let you walk all over me because clearly, I'm not as important to you as you say I am. Liar. You've changed into someone I'm not very fond of.

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2011-05-04T16:14:00.001-07:00

Good morning loves.

Fuel's standing at 143.9 at the cheapest that I've found. Should have fueled up when it was sitting at 135.9 for a few days. Bleh. About to get ready to head to the dentist and this is what shows up at my front door:

Connector rings arrived today. Yum.

Content, for now :)

Hope you've all been well. xo

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2011-05-04T01:47:00.000-07:00

I look ugly. Last night, I went to grab my retainer which I had previously taken off to eat dinner .. but somehow managed to twist my legs around in my dooner and fall face first into my desk. As a result, I chipped my front tooth. You're probably laughing at my misfortune and I'm sure one day, I'll look back and laugh at it too. But after it happened, I was in shock and pain and my first reaction was to call for my mother. Pathetic hey? Mum said to call the dentist and it'd be alright. The words I was expecting to hear of course but I just needed to hear it from someone. Some words of comfort. I feel so disgustingly ugly. I cried for a straight half an hour because I felt/feel so disgustingly ugly. And yeah, my cousin told me "it's not the end of the world .. at least you don't have an amputated foot". That made me smile a little at least. I didn't want to talk to anyone or go anywhere or even drive my brother out to the train station. I was embarrassed .. all because of a noticeably chipped tooth. I didn't want to talk to anyone last night after the way I was feeling + the added accident just made it a whole lot worse .. but I let someone in. I cried on the phone to them hoping they'd understand that I was in a sensitive state and I wasn't ready to laugh it off .. that I just needed some comfort from an old friend. They were insensitive. They made a joke of me and I cried some more after hanging up mid sentence. I don't laugh when friends are crying. I don't think it's at all humorous when someone's in pain. A small detail may be part of a bigger picture and for me, that was my self-consciousness of my body; my looks. I'm sharing this with you because I've stopped advertising this blog as one for entertainment. I share too many intimate thoughts on here so I hope that those that do read, appreciate that. Noone's perfect, I know darn well that I'm not even close.

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2011-05-02T01:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel so alone. Even when I know there are those that would make the effort and time to listen to me.. it's like.. I don't want them to have to listen to me. I don't like feeling like I'm wasting someone else's time. I don't like feeling like a burden. Sure, in a sense, I'm a hypocrite and I contradict the advice that I give by doing the complete opposite but I think so highly of everyone but myself. Feels as though everyone knows where they're headed and what they want from life - they're happy/content. I want that.

In no way am I comparing my life to other people's either. Don't accuse me of that. I know I have family and friends and that's what a lot of people ask for right? I don't take that for granted. I cherish that every day. But feelings are feelings and they come and go as they please. So today I am unhappy and sure, you can make me smile and laugh but it doesn't change how I feel when I'm back at home; alone. Alone to dwell in my own sorrows and pathetic thoughts. To beat myself up inside about how much of a failure I am and how I'm probably going to lose people sooner or later. Noone wants to deal with the constant negativity from a person when they try so hard to change their mood. That's not attractive now is it? I'm not attractive now am I.

I just want to be content with who I am. That's just too much to ask for these days. I want to be able to answer with "I'm great." when people ask "how are you?" instead of my measly "I could be better. You?". I don't think the same people I consider close, consider me close. That hurts a little.

You're so consumed with your own life. To be honest, it worries me that I feel as though I can't talk to you about how I feel anymore. I know you can't do or say anything to make it go away but you used to stay on the phone and listen .. and as I needed, you'd be quiet for hours just so I knew I had a listening ear and wouldn't feel so alone. I don't think your extent of "I miss you"s compare to mine. I miss spending time with you. But I can't blame you for that. I can't blame anyone but myself. I really do just wish happiness on others. I can be a selfish person but not about this.

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2011-04-01T00:05:00.001-07:00

GOOD EVENING! Unfortunately for those of you who enjoy my more meaningful and ranting blogs, this one is because I'm happy and soI just wanted to update for those of you who care :)

I've been sick since Monday and seeing as today is Friday, five days of being sick isn't doing great for my motivation to study. Minor/major headaches don't help with concentration unfortunately. I'm currently recovering from a horrible cold that developed from little rest when I was working myself too hard last week with work at the convention centre and at the newsagent. My immune system's fairlygood I might add! I'm sick probably six times a year and they're only colds. Nothing major. Just the occasional horrible cold such as this one bleh. Anyway, mid semester exams are next week.I was quite on track till two weeks ago and trust me, two weeks may not seem like much material considering I only go into uni two days a week but that's so not the case. Time to knuckle down and finish my assignments by this upcoming week + type up all my study notes and what not so this week's a fairly busy week ARGH!

So to update you on what's been happening - in the last month, I have:

Gotten my braces off after having worn them for nearly three years.

Bought a 13" MacBook Pro to replace my Asus laptop of 3 years.

+ A stitch decal to hug the Apple on the outside teehee.

Stuck stickers up on my wall .. yeah, I have no reason for that.
Bored and I like them I suppose yay!

And yesterday I went for my practical driving test and now have my licence.

Freedom feels good. Drove to Inala today because I felt like banh mi thit (if you don't know where I live, I live about 45/50mins drive away from there) so that's pretty much the furthest I've ever driven alone.. though it's only the second day that I've had my P's lol.

So I'm happy. Aside from the saving and studies, I've pretty much accomplished everything that I had planned. Now to work and start from scratch again. Saving and working towards graduation. This week is pretty busy.

Saturday: Magazine returns for the newsagent + wedding at night

Sunday: Work

Monday: Assignments and studying @ home

Tuesday: Work

Wednesday: Uni 8am - 8pm + report assignment due

Thursday: Work

Friday: Uni 8am - 1pm

Saturday: Mid semester exams + work @ 7:30pm - 3:30am

Just love life hey. So after this week is done, I'm going out for icecream to treat myself :D don't be surprised if I come by and drag you along.

LOVER. xo

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2011-03-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

Falling behind in uni. No surprise there. Caught up quite a bit today though blah. The weather's been so crappy and I've been getting constant headaches from being dehydrated .___." and don't tell me that it's because I don't consume enough fluids because trust me, I do );

I've been really slack with blogging because as you all know - I hardly ever blog when I'm happy. But today, I'm not feeling all that great so here I am .. not seeking attention. Not wanting to be noticed. Just wanting someone to listen without having to ask them to. I mean, all the readers that come here, come not because they're asked/forced/feel obliged to .. but do because you want to read/criticise what I write. Either way, I have at least one listener and I'm thankful for that.

Old habits die hard. I'm not one to judge but when you've hurt me in a way that I can't even begin to explain and you don't come to me with a sincere apology; I will say nasty things about you and hold grudges. To me, you're a nasty person. A waste of space. It's not always true that "first impressions are everlasting". Not all the time. If you had any morals, you'd at least have the decency to apologise for the shit you put others through but you didn't. It was two years ago and if it happened now, fack, I wouldn't care but back then - that was a different story. You're pathetic. You never had the guts to face me and you lied to me when I confronted you about the whole ordeal and asked you to be honest. That was me being nice. I didn't judge you because I thought you would be honest with me but you weren't. You were fake. Thinking about how hurt I was, still hurts. The timing was horrible - that's what gets me the most. Yeah it's childish to hold grudges but I don't forgive and forget so easily. To me, you're still the same person you were when all this happened. Fake. And ease up on the make-up a little, it's like you don't have any features and you have to draw them on.

Anyway, /end rant. I'm sick of seeing your face and having to be within a kilometre of you. Let alone a few cm's. You're unbearable.

Good day to you my lovelies.

Much love .. though, not for you. Not ever.

Get out of my life.

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2011-03-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

You know what's amazing? .. Besides you of course ;) That I'm keeping up with my studies this semester. Maybe I'm speaking relatively too soon considering it's only the beginning of the third week but hey, the last four semesters = multiple all nighters, the consumption of one too many energy drinks and no-doz tablets, cramming and truckloads of stress. Though I feel confident that I'll be alright this semester. I've so far .. skipped one lecture :( but I caught up with it once I got home so I think I'm excused from that one muahaha.

I called up Queensland Transport today .. it's been three weeks and they haven't contacted me to tell me whether or not my logbook has been approved. Was pretty worried till after being put on hold for ten minutes, they told me that it had actually been approved on the 11th. and they guessed that they had just forgotten to notify me. Bleh. Hopefully I'll be driving around legally in a month or two :) My goals regarding studying + licence = on track.

Not doing so well with the saving ordeal. I was doing pretty well, mind you! But I blew it last night on a new laptop - then again, I did say that I planned on purchasing one + a desktop. I suppose the desktop will just have to wait and I have to start saving from scratch again. Currently indebted to my Mummy and Daddy since they paid for it upfront so I could get it asap. Ahhh, too lucky :) ♥ ♥ So the following days that I'll be working will be to pay them back around $1,400 and to pay for my phone bill each month. I'm thinking of getting the Iphone 5 next year when my contract ends. Anyone know what the deal is for the Iphone 6? :p If it's getting released next year, might as well wait for that? :D

So yes, reaching my goals, slowly. I shouldn't be so dependent on other people. There just leaves room for disappointment. I don't have any classes with my best friend this semester so I'm still getting used to seeing her once every few weeks :( Though the upside to that is .. no reason to skip my classes because there's noone to go shopping with and so in turn, I'm saving money, right? Anyway, I should stop procrastinating and talking to myself. I apologise for my lack of updates and my boring posts. I don't really write unless I'm 'sad'. I suppose you can expect another post from me when I can't get something off my mind or if I'm extremely happy about something. There's never an in between with me really as you've probably figured. Happy or sad/angry.

Stay safe lovelies. Some days, I wish I could just pack up and leave. Move to a different city .. preferably Melbourne. I miss you guys :( Hopefully see you all in January ahorhor :) ♥

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2011-03-03T01:44:00.000-08:00

I hate change. Ok, well maybe 'hate' is too strong a word but I'm really not fond of it at all. I love familiarity. Knowing that the certain few that I can rely on will always be there and by 'always', I'm referring to the arguable 'forever'. Never getting lost in the midst of all this unneeded drama because I'm set on where I'm headed. Feeling content with where I am at this point in time. So I've made pacts - pacts that involved the crossing of pinkies and touching of thumbs. Those things are legit; don't you tell me otherwise. Pacts that lead me to optimistically believe that I'll never lose them. Those who, metaphorically speaking, mean the world to me. Regardless of how often we speak or see each other and regardless of the difference in social groups.

I don't like change. I don't like losing friends and I don't like feeling as though I'm drifting away from one of my oldest friends. But change is inevitable (unless it's coming from a vending machine). People change and you grow too different to be compatible with one another anymore .. or maybe it's you who's changing. Maybe you've changed so much that everyone else seems to have taken different paths in life that don't coincide with your decisions. Maybe they weren't brought to you to be in your life 'forever' but they were there as a mere stepping stone - to teach you a lesson.

You spend your time partying it up with kids who aren't old enough to buy their own alcohol and you're turning what? Twenty this year? You pop pills and you party every weekend when you should be studying, considering you've paid a few thousand to be studying a tertiary education. I don't really know what happened to you. You've somewhat, 'lost your way', in a matter of speaking. This means a lot coming from me but - you need to grow up. You're not fifteen anymore and you can't rely on Centrelink forever.

I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know where they're headed in life. If you can't support and take care of yourself, how can I expect you to be able to care and watch out for me? No to smokers, drug takers and those who party more than they see their family and friends. Call me shallow but if I'm not physically attracted to someone, it takes a lot for me to be emotionally attracted to them. I'm not asking for a world class model but hey, being average in looks isn't too much to ask right? So maybe I'm a little picky but I'm sure that I'm not the only one. Apparently my personality is too outgoing and loud. Mum said that if I don't tone it down, noone's ever going to be attracted enough to me to want to be with me. Lovely right? So not only am I seen as picky and shallow but I'm also not attractive. My self-esteem isn't all that high but that's for another day.

I've decided not to go clubbing on the 11th. I'm sure that being there for support of a friend in time of need is of higher priority than getting drunk and shiftfaced on a Saturday night.

I hate change.
♥

♥

2011-03-02T22:45:00.001-08:00

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole.

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2011-02-25T01:18:00.000-08:00

HIHIHI! :DDD

Indulged myself with sushi train and cold rock icecream today ♥ Cravings = satisfied!

So the dealio for this upcoming week:

Saturday: Dinner for dad
Sunday: Driving with Anh Nam
Monday: Work from 6pm - 12:30am (Trains stop at 12:30am ... :( :( :( )
Tuesday: Work from 10am
Wednesday: Uni - lecture in the morning and evening .. stupid hugeass break in the middle. What to do?
Thursday: Freeeee!
Friday: Uni lecture in the afternoon

Tis all (:
♥

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2011-02-23T00:38:00.000-08:00

Ahihihi :) !

Had work today. Wasn't rostered but a lot of people bailed today so I was called in last minute. Ended up spilling oil all over the right side of my shirt and it started to soak in and by the time I asked for another shirt and got changed, my shoulder and the right side of my tummy were oily :'( Ahhhhh well. That and the tips of my hair are covered in potato salad .... Had lunch at Vapiano's yesterday with my cousins and checked out the ending of the O'week day.

I finally handed in my logbook yesterday. One hundred legit hours .. took longer than I had expected - but hey, they're done and in now right? Should have done this years ago >:( I have work again tomorrow and an orthodontist appointment Friday :) :) :) :) :) Uni starts next Wednesday for me. Holidays flew by pretty fast I must say. Hopefully I can manage my time better this time around.. I've missed out on catching up with lots of important people ..

Lover ♥

♥

2011-02-20T00:57:00.001-08:00

The way you lightly sweep my hair behind my ear and stroke my cheek.

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2011-02-16T14:30:00.001-08:00

I have so much crap in my room. Maybe I am a hoarder -____-" An hour and a half to move all this crap out .. sounds impossible.

OOFT, "TuneIn Radio" for Iphone ♥ Love it.

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2011-02-16T05:24:00.000-08:00

Aircon tomorrow. Finally. 10am and my room has yet to be rearranged and cleaned so that they can get to my wall.

SS501 - Because I'm Stupid (Acoustic Version) ♥

♥

2011-02-13T23:26:00.001-08:00

The best part of a relationship isn't the sex. It's not about the money they spend on you or how good looking they are. In the end, it's about them listening to you talk for hours and hours about stupid shit that doesn't even matter and that they want to listen.

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2011-02-13T21:40:00.000-08:00

I don't need you. As a matter of fact, I don't need anyone. I can fend for myself.

Farrrr it's hot -______-" Aircon man, where are you?

10 more hours till freedom.

11 more days till the day - finallyyyyyy.

14 more days till I'm doing something productive.

This skin rash isn't getting any better .. it's spreading and it makes me want to be more of a hermit and have no contact with the outside world. It's disgusting and every year it gets worse. Worst genes ever.

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN DEXTER.

:) ♥

"iloveyoutweety!"

2011-02-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

HIHIHI :D !

Well, my mummy and daddy bought a newsagent sometime .. last year? The year before? No, it was the year before .. so 2009. There's not really much to tell? My friends and people I tell go on about how my parents must be rich .. since they both also work two full time jobs and so I don't need to work - and I shouldn't complain that I don't get any money since my parents are 'loaded' but that's not the case. My parents bought the newsagency so some of my family members would have a place to work, would have income and be able to financially support themselves. My parents just own the place. I work there from time to time. I drive mum down on weekends and since dad's already down there from having finished the paper run, I drive him back home to get some sleep .. then drive him back down in the afternoon to close up shop and I drive both my parents back home. So if I don't have anything better to do, I get four hours logged each week.

Like I said, not much to tell haha. The people down there are so lovely though. I mean, some come in with chocolates and the other week, a man came in and gave me flowers.

Was there anything in particular you'd like to know? D: That's all that comes to mind at the moment. I wish I saw my parents more though :/ Mum and dad leave for work at 7am, they're up by 5:30am. They finish work at 4:30pm and head straight down to the shop and work there for a bit before closing up. They get home around 7:30pm - 8:30pm and cook dinner so our usual dinner time is 9pm-ish. On Saturday and Sunday mornings, Dad wakes up at 2am and leaves to do the paper run. He finishes at around 5:30am .. sometimes later if the paper drop is late. Then he comes home to sleep from 8am to 12pm and then heads back down to the shop. He doesn't get enough rest and yes, my parents both work very hard.

That's all that comes to mind now :) ♥

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2011-02-07T13:24:00.000-08:00

Hihihi me loves! ♥

This heat has been so unbearable .. my heat rash has come back and I'm not quite sure what it is - I've been told it's hand eczema .. but yeah, that's come back on my hands as well. I wake up in the middle of the night scratching and sooking that it'll stop itching )': ahh well, we all have imperfections hey -___-"

Started working again .. sorta. Been doing stocktake. Counting thousands and thousands and thousands of stock. I think it's safe to say that I'm pretty pro at counting to 600, multiple times, for seven and a half hours. However, till they have functions again, I have no work and so I'm stuck at home .. getting back into my old love: Pokemon on DS. Ahorhorhor.

Yeah, and you're probably thinking "go do something productive" but uni starts in twenty days and I'm pretty sure I'll be doing enough productive things/thinking then!

Went to the city yesterday with my cousins Thao and Vinh. Had to head into uni to hand in advanced standing forms and ask about enrollment -_____-" the new system is so bleh. So many kinks compared to the old system. Bleh bleh bleh. Scoured the city for sales 8] but I controlled my urge to buy crap just because it was on sale .. though that fell right through when I saw bread top )': ♥ Splurged on six 'spicy pork buns' - my favourite! Introduced to me by Julie of course :) Ran back to where Thao was eating and .. I think my head may have been thinking too fast for my mouth to process because I came back saying "I just bought SIX sporky buns!". Sporky? Yes, I said sporky. WTF IS SPORKY?! -_______-" I've been doing that quite often though .. it's starting to worry me .. I have like, a speech impediment or something >.>

GUYS! 11th. March, MEMORY @ THE MET. I love the met but what's even awesome-r is that it'll be packed 8D Excited! Will be my 5th. time clubbing! I miss the girls ): Elaine, Megan, Julie - will see them on the 11th. I suppose >:) and see Julie earlier since we have uni. AHORHORHOR. I should really stop with the awkward laughs huh? But I've actually adapted it to real life situations and that's just .. how I giggle/chuckle/laugh now .. don't judge me.

I have the worst sweet tooth. I am craving cold rock icecream -_____-" I want to drive out and get some teheehee .. but I shouldn't. Twenty hours left T^T" they're taking forever because Daddy's been busy and I've been working on the weekends so I don't get any hours )':

TIS ALL FOR NOW. "And there isn't, any more" *Madeleine's dog barks* .. if you get what I'm saying ;|

Lover ♥

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2011-01-31T22:11:00.000-08:00

Good evening, beautiful :)

I am planning to save $20,000+ by sometime next year (probably by the end of next year, having limited my disgusting impulse shopping). That may mean that I have to delay the purchase of my desktop and netbook .. which in turn, means - the delay of leveling my WoW characters ): so no gaming till then since my laptop can't handle it

I plan on finishing my legit hours in the following two/three months. Give or take a little.

I plan on going for my P's exam before June.

I plan on walking Butters at least 2/3 times a week.

I plan on keeping my room neat and clean for longer than two weeks -.-"

Yahh, that's about it. I'd say I plan on exercising and gyming .. but I've never once been to gym and I have yet to be motivated to do any other exercise other than walking or the occasional .... ahahaha anyway, till next time my loves ♥ Hope you're all safe!

- OH! AND BEST FRIEND, SOY CAFE! SOY CAFEEEE! I'M CRAVING SOY CAFE )': ?

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2011-01-29T17:19:00.000-08:00

Don't come any closer, can't cry on my shoulder, you just gon' have to live with the choice you made.

Whattup, buttercup? ;)

I've been mia and there's no real reason for it besides my laziness kicking in to its extent. Not much has happened since I got back from Melbourne. Though I'm not complaining since "I, had the time of my lifeeeeee .. and I've never felt this way before. And I swear, this is true, and I owe it all to you" :D dirty bit. Things didn't really go according to plan but I can now say that I've been clubbing a total number of four times :) Melbourne's nightlife kicks ours, hard. The guys we met took us out and we not only explored a haunted house but .. yeah .. fireworks may or may not have been involved ahem. I miss them. I miss Melbourne. I want to go back, soon - but I intend on saving up for quite a few pricey things this year and so I may have to give it a miss )':

I have 28 hours left. Uni starts on the 28th. Feb. My birthday's the 28th. of Dec. 28, 28, 28, 28, 28! I'm going to go drive down to the shop and pick up Mummy then drive to Inala. Till we meet again ♥

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2011-01-10T05:52:00.001-08:00

HI LADIES! .. and dudes? I don't really know who reads this thingy majig S: anyway .. I can't sleep. Not because I'm excited but because .. I haven't been sleeping well this past week so my sleeping pattern is screwed up from granny naps during the afternoon and sleeping for ten or so hours from 5am onwards. Ahoohoo, I haven't finished packing yet! - Should get onto that but I'm procrastinating .. and for what reason? I have no clue. I procrastinate with everything :( it's a bad habit that I should really kick. It's nearly 12am and I have yet to shower, pack my shampoo, conditioner and body milk .. and charge my camera and DS + update the music on my iPhone because it deleted everything when I changed my ringtone -.-" iTunes you piece of ..... ergh!!

I'm thinking of not sleeping tonight :) probably pass out on the plane, hopefully *fingers crossed*. Hmm .. and I woke up at 1pm today to a phone call from my brother .. telling me that it was 1pm and to wake up at that very moment or he'd torture me when he got there :( Anyway, spent the rest of the day watching "The walking dead". It didn't creep me out .. not till it started to get dark and Butters ran downstairs .. so I was alone .. watching a zombie tv show .. that reminded me of a real life version of Left For Dead - which actually creeps me out if I play alone. AND NOW I'M CREEPING MYSELF OUT AND DON'T WANT TO SHOWER BY MYSELF!!?!!!!!?!???!! T^T"

Okies, going to watch comedy shows till I tire myself out and stop freaking myself out. Updates when I get the chance.

Toodles my lovelies! Stay safe!

Lover ♥

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2011-01-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

I want to study the geography of your body. I want to start a revolution with you. I want to lightly kiss the nape of your neck and bury my face in your chest. I want to write secret notes on your back as you sleep next to me.

♥

2011-01-08T15:46:00.000-08:00

I’m sorry if I’m fragile, it’s just that I’ve been hurt a lot.

I’m sorry I don’t trust easily, it’s just that I’ve been lied to a lot.

I’m sorry if I’m unhappy, my life just has too many complications to have time to think about happiness.

I’m sorry if I disappoint you; don’t worry, I disappoint everyone, including myself.

I’m sorry I’m me, I didn’t get much of a say in this decision either.

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2011-01-07T02:06:00.000-08:00

Lost 3kg's in the last week and a half and am now down to 47kg :(
& gave my harddrive to my cousin to copy everything onto. Estimated copying time: 14 hours. Horhorhor.

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2011-01-06T14:54:00.001-08:00

The weather's playing up again. Apparently there are predicted thunderstorms this weekend. Which sucks because thunderstorms frighten me almost as much as showering alone at midnight. ): Sucky sucky sucky.. that sounded a little sexual. ANYWAY - just had an orthodontist appointment. Nearly forgot that I had it but Mummy came in at 7:20am to tell me that I had one in an hour - getting ready takes 5 minutes and the drive there is only 10 -.-" and I didn't sleep till 4:30am last night so I wasn't exactly happy to wake up to the thought of my mouth being sore for the next few days.. I'm going to need icecream to numb it :(

Oh nah .. that's cool. Totally just cut the electricity while I'm blogging and talking to Julie. Thanks weather. THANKS. So now I'm blogging with no internet and no electricity to freaking straighten my freaking hair. THANKS AGAIN. Ha, this weather is gloomy. Heading to Inala soon for my Mummy's doctor's appointment. Apparently we're late .. she's always late .. so I'm going to drive because she can't see the lines on the road and she's swerving like a bloody woman asian driver :) I love my Mum. If I ever become a typical asian woman driver, take me off the road, ok?

Haven't been feeling the best. Been glum these past few days .. yeah, don't ask and I won't tell. I'm not going out to the penthouse tonight and I'm definitely not going clubbing. I'm not in the mood and well, I'll just be a drag and nobody wants that now do they?

"Go put on some pants so we can go!" says Mummy. So off I go in search of my traveling pants. After all these failed attempts of cleaning my room, you'd think that I'd have developed some sort of a system which would help me succeed the next time around ... nope.

Toodles my lovelies. I'm sorry for being a drag.

Unhappy chappy ♥

---

Merr, I'm back. With the buckets of rain this morning, I ended up driving through many valleys which would have flooded 238904209384 times worse if it had continued to rain throughout the day. Sucky for me since there's really only one way to head to Inala from my house and it's the quickest route. Daddy took my car so I had to drive the Nissan :( I didn't have my plates up but man, people need to learn to ease up on the tailgating. For serial. Cereal. Coco pops! I'm just a rager but hey, Mummy agreed with me and chimed in when I was complaining about how people drive. Horhorhor, hi5 Mumsayeeee. Anyway, electricity's back on so rant rant rant :D yay! Was meant to head out with Julie and Binh Ha - he's getting his tatt done right at this very moment.

I still have to see Toy Story 3 ):
Heard it's gooooooooooood!

Mmmm, and as food normally hits the sweet spot, my mood's a little lighter. Thank the lord for banh mi thit. Maybe head out for icecream with Julie later soy cafe? .. I don't know. Just need someone to talk to .. and cry to .. and cry with. Which reminds me - Julie wanted to show me what she bought yesterday but my mood was horrid and I knew I'd be all gloomy with her so I told her that it wasn't a good idea to let me on w/c. Anyway, she insisted .. so I did and I just ended up pouring my heart out to her .. rambling about what I was overthinking about and while I was crying, she started yelling at me to stop. So I did .. to see that she had started crying :( because I was crying. Hahaha, she's so adorabubble :) ♥ So I had stopped crying to comfort her .. and we ended up just laughing at how pathetic we both were. Then she started tearing up again later .. and I started tearing up because she did .. and we were back where we were just before .. crying because the other person was crying.

I thank-you for being sooky and pathetic with me, my beloved best friend :b
Yes, I'm telling everyone that you cried :D
♥

My Daddy's ill so he came home early today. Mum has an orthodontist appointment soon so I'll get to drive my car out and take Mummy 8] I hope the novelty of driving doesn't wear off anytime soon. It's kinda the only thing I look forward to .. a small part of freedom.

xo.

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2011-01-06T06:16:00.000-08:00

I'd like to meet someone who won't give up on me.
Someone who won't leave me broken.

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2011-01-06T04:14:00.000-08:00

Crying makes me feel pathetic. Like I'm not even strong enough to hold in a few tears that show that I'm upset. I don't know why I continue to do this to myself. I just end up crying like a little bitch? .. Mmm, that sounded a little emo, I'm going to add 'lol' and a smiley face on the end of this post. Lol :)

Hrm, I don't feel like going out tomorrow night. I don't really feel like going out anywhere, at all. I hope that changes by Tuesday.

Unhappy chappy ♥

♥

2011-01-06T04:10:00.000-08:00

Love isn’t an act, it’s a whole life. It’s staying with him now because he needs you; it’s knowing you and he will still care about each other when sex and daydreams, fights and futures - when all that’s on the shelf and done with. Love - why, I’ll tell you what love is: it’s you at seventy-one and him at seventy-five, each of you listening for the other’s step in the next room, each afraid that a sudden silence, a suden cry, could mean a lifetime’s talk is over.

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2011-01-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, change of plans. Julie felt like dinner last night so we went for steak and noodles at coffee square. She was late picking me up so by the time we had finished eating, she had to drop me back home before it was 11pm and there was a possibility that cops would pull her over and question her about having more than one person in the car, ergh, stupid rule. So no plans for today/tonight which means .. mmm, chores and probably cooking satay chicken for dinner since Khoa's been bugging me about it for weeks now merrrr.

It's been so freaking hot and humid :( and Khoa's inhabited the spare room downstairs which has aircon so I'm stuck in the hottest room in my house - my room ODFJOWEJRIOEWJR. Wow, I'm a sook. Speaking of Wow, my brother bought me the first three expansions so when I buy my desktop (which'll either be after I return from my holiday or when I start work again in March), I'm going to start playing again (Y).

Assuming that I'm broke when I come back, when I start work in March, I will be saving up for:

Desktop (inc. LCD, keyboard, mouse and mic)
Netbook (for uni because I write so so so so very slow)
Bed frame (because mine's squeaky and I want a new one :D)
Shelves (for my room because I need somewhere to put all my stuffed toys)

The thought of having so many stuffed toys in view while I sleep is sorta freaky but hey, I'll overcome that obstacle when it comes to it 8D

I want to see "Love and other drugs" and "Little Fockers" :( but knowing me, I'll most likely wait till it's been released on dvd horhorhor. Should probably work on enrolling in my units now too .. sad to admit but I miss uni .. and since my Daddy's been working a new job, he won't have his office at uni anymore for me to drop off my textbooks and laptop so he can take them home for me since they're too heavy to carry around the city while I'm shopping T^T. Yes, I'm a sook shmeh shmeh.

I WANT TO DYE MY HAIR BECAUSE I CAN SEE REGROWTH AND IT'S NOTICEABLE IN PHOTOS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Ok, end rant(s) :) teehee, toodles!

Lover ♥

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2011-01-03T19:50:00.001-08:00

Plans for this week:

Wednesday 05/01/11 - Dinner and catch up
Thursday 06/01/11 - Max Brenner and dinner
Friday 07/01/11 - Orthodontist appointment in the morning :( Penthouse suite at the casino at night with the ladies :)
Saturday 08/01/11 - Check out from hotel
Sunday 09/01/11 - Nothing.
Monday 10/01/11 - Packing.
Tuesday 11/01/11 - Airport ♥

Ain't life fanfrickingfabulous? :D .. but I'm sure that my days that currently consist of 'nothing' will probably turn into days spent with Julie horhor. Uni's being a bit of a bitch .. I think they changed Virtual because I can't enrol in my units and I want to have this all sorted before I go. BAAAAAH! Anyway, I got sick of tumblring because it kinda just became less of a blog and more of .. pictures that made me go 'wtf' :) So my apologies for my lack of pathetic rants but I should have more crap about my days to update you on sooooooon. So toodles for now and photos later because I found my camera which I thought I had lost for a few months ... I don't know how it got under my bed .. but I found it! HORHORHOR :)

Hope you all had a merry christmas and very happy new year. Hmm, I still have yet to make a new years resolution.

Lover ♥

♥

2011-01-02T03:21:00.001-08:00

There’s a certain kind of pain that can numb you. There’s a type of freedom that can tie you down. Sometimes the unexplained can define you. And sometimes the silence is the only sound. In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.

Migrated back :)

2010-12-30T00:51:00.000-08:00

I'm flying high, defying gravity.
Nothing's gonna stop me now.